Did you hear What difference does it make?

I hate this feeling of being happy for months and then waking up, feeling like a stupid fool behind all the lies. Why is it always hazy, this stuff? Am I ever going to understand. People, they just fuck with your head, don’t they. There are

no.

more.

questions.

left (behind?)

nothingness zen fucking style.

Sorry, I curse inspired by Steven Tyler in American idol, authority issues is my thing too and who cares whether you use certain words to express power and emotion, just because some norm has prohibited them to make people comfortable and “protect children” when in fact, they curse more in that country than elsewhere where cursing is not inhibited and such a big deal anyway. It just pissed me off too, that’s all. 

From blanks, you learn nothing either. Like a baby is a blank page, a mind of nothingness. Mindfulness they say. Awareness. Acceptance. Moving on. Bygones. Fuck fuck fuck, it doesn’t make me feel better.

I love organizing, structure, a set of rules. People are impulsive, unpredictable and like Dr House said

EVERYBODY LIES

EVERYBODY LIES 

EVERYBODY LIES

It just hurts a lot, that’s all. Because the collective programming of the mind has a strong grip. It says, don’t lie, don’t curse, be friendly, show respect. But what is respect for you? Maybe that’s a lie for me rather than respect. 

I’m a lily waiting to bloom. One mm left. We’re at war and you’re not with me. 1. And you’re just like the others.